Croatia Vacation - Split and Bosnia

8/24/22 

2.5 years ago, the cruel bitch that is COVID caused the cancellation of our Spanish vacation mere days before departure.  During that time, I got fat, I got skinny, I got fat again, I got skinny again, I procreated, and I got fat again.  After some heavy drinking, Allison and I assembled a group of 10 of our friends and rented a gulet to cruise the Adriatic for a week.  What's a gulet, you may ask?  A gulet is like a yacht, but it's wooden, looks like a pirate ship mated with a fishing boat, and is significantly cheaper than the aforementioned yacht.  

Since we had been stuck stateside for the better part of three years, Allison and I decided to splurge on our first business class flights.  Since European airports had been in turmoil all summer, we decided to go the "all carryon" route, which made Allison a bit grumpy.  Her mood soon changed once we finally broke the threshold of the airport Chili's.  

When asked to describe America, I reply with "Airport Chili's."

Once we made it to Chicago, it was finally time to experience Polaris Business Class on our way to Frankfurt.  Allison snuggled in and prepared to get a good night's sleep, while I ordered wine and fired up Sonic the Hedgehog 2.  Have I seen Sonic the Hedgehog 1?  No, but that didn't stop me.

Don't let the photo fool you.  She didn't leave me alone the entire flight.

Would reco.

8/25/22

We landed the following morning in Frankfurt, which unfortunately lacks the sweet, sweet air conditioning of freedom.  Sweated my ass off for a few hours before boarding our Croatia Airlines flight to Split, which was pretty uneventful.  Upon arriving, we had another uneventful transfer to our hotel, though our friends that arrived the day before met Tony Kukoc at the airport.  Totally not jealous.

We checked in at our hotel, the Piazza Heritage, located in the pedestrian area surrounding Diocletian's Palace.  Nice hotel.  Very friendly staff, comfy beds, and good air conditioning.  Would recommend.  We quickly showered and met our friends at a nearby bar to grab drinks.  You'll hear that a lot on this trip.

First of many Ozujsko.

"Pretend like you're looking at stuff."

After exploring the Diocletian's Palace area, which I took no pictures of*, we all met up for dinner at UJE Oil Bar.  Many drinks and much olive oil was had by all.  I would just like to point out that I had the Risotto of Skradin for my main course and it was among the best things I've ever eaten.  

The fountain still works.

Betrayal.  She deserved it.

*I found pics.

After dinner, Allison wandered back to the hotel while I decided to "explore" for a bit.  When I say "explore," I really mean get lost trying to find Froggyland.  Froggyland is an exhibit of delightful taxidermy frogs arranged in fun situations.  They didn't allow photos, but I snuck one because I'm a rebel.  I went to bed content, as my main checklist item had been completed.

Circus frogs.

8/26/22

We woke up early to meet our driver, Bartul, who was set to take us into Bosnia.  Why Bosnia, you may ask?  Because it's there and we can.  Kind of like going to the moon but with more shirtless, hairy Eastern Europeans.  

I'll be the first to admit when I'm wrong (unless you ask my wife), so I have a confession.  I told everyone that getting to Mostar would take an hour and a half because when I typed it into Google I was told that it was about 100 miles from Split.  Whoops, apparently this area of the world is entirely mountains.  Took 2.5 hours of switchbacks with giant vertical drops and only rusty guardrails to keep us alive if we veered just a bit too much outside of our lane.  

Spoiler alert: we did not fall off the mountain.

The main attraction of Mostar is the Old Bridge that connects the city's Old Town area over the Neretva River.  It was originally constructed in the 16th century, but was destroyed in the Bosnian War in the 1990s and was rebuilt.  When we arrived, they were setting up for a Red Bull diving competition on the bridge, which would have been cool to see.  When we visited the Azores ~5 years ago they were setting up for a similar competition.  Action just follows us around, I guess.  

The Old Town area of Mostar is pretty neat, but it is seemed to be full of cheap, tourist shops which took away some of the allure.  We ate lunch at a place called Sadrvan, which was excellent.  There was an Islamic Call to Prayer that played during the middle of lunch.  That was a first for me, but not unexpected since there is a large Muslim population in the city, which used to be a part of the Ottoman Empire.  

"Guys, how do I get in?"

Our next stop was to nearby Kravice Falls for a quick dip.  Luckily, the Bosnian tourism department is on top of their game and has multiple bars set up directly next to the falls so you can drink while you do cannonballs into the icy cold water.  Take that, Krka.  

With our Bosnian adventure complete, we piled back into the van to return to Split, with only a small pit stop to take a picture next to a Hog Crossing sign.